Where did that come from?

So I am getting ready for my big move. 10 days to go! I've been busy too with social events like a bachelorette party/getaway last weekend and tomorrow I am going to a friends cottage for the weekend. This doesn't sound like a lot of things but I am such an introvert and all of the socializing can really tire me out.

Nonetheless, I've packed my camping gym bag for another weekend of tanning and saying goodbye to our old friends as we are all going in different directions for school this fall.

While these are all celebrations and things to look forward to, I've been having pop-up panic attacks throughout the week. I've come to understand my anxiety and I used to suffer a lot from panic attacks growing up but they sordove dwindled after grade 12. Here and there I will have a flare up but this last week has been very difficult.

Usually, something triggers my panic attacks and I can see them coming and sometimes talk myself through them pretty efficiently but these ones come out of nowhere and it takes a good 20 minutes for me to catch my breath (compared to the usual 3-5 minutes).


I hope I can get them under control and I hope it doesn't interfere with my new school and apartment.

Thanks for the read and I hope you're enjoying the heat (if there's heat where you are! :) )

xoxo

- A

Being an adult sucks

So as you know I've left the job I was working at and thought I just deserved the time off for the rest of the summer (just over a month) as a way to celebrate my undergrad and starting a new program. It was all good at first until a buttload of expenses started coming in.

My car broke down..

I had to pitch in for a bachelorette weekend getaway..

and the gift for the bride..

I just bought the bridesmaid dress for the wedding ..

I just activated the utilities and internet/cable for our new apartment we will be moving into for school and apparently when you activate all that crap.. you gotta pay! I'm new to the adult way of life so this came as a bit of a surprise.

I had enough money to get me through the summer without any big expenses popping up but stupid me for thinking nothing would pop up.

Only 20 days until I move (and receive my student loan) so I just need to make it to that.



I hope you're all doing well and getting big fat tips. I almost miss the restaurant world but still don't think I want to go back.

I'll let ya know if that changes!

xoxo

- A

Is this thing on?

Hello readers...


Well are there even readers anymore? I never had many but lately, my page feels like a ghost town. Let me know if you're still reading.. I've always been a sucker for other people's praise.


I quit my job.

A student without a summer job. AKA my biggest nightmare. There was just too much going on at that place and I felt it was best for me if I resigned. So I did.

Getting a new job is not likely as I am moving to a new city for school in just over a month.

Things will work out..

Stay tuned.

xoxo

- A

This is why I write it down

'the customer is always right'

This is the golden rule while working in the food industry, or even other industries such as retail but this golden rule makes any server want to rip his/her hair out in the middle of the rush. 

So there are some servers who don't write anything down and just remember everything. Literally everything. My friend served a party of 15 the other night with no notepad. I on the other hand need to write everything down, including water. Embarrassing I know but during the rush I get so stressed out I can't remember the last 2 minutes because my brain is in survival mode and my memory shuts down. It's a thing. Look it up if you don't believe it.

I'm getting sidetracked here..

So I was pretty busy and had a handful of needy/cranky tables. This always makes me feel weeded as I start over-trying to please my guests (because I can't deal with conflict). I had a woman (who I knew  wouldn't tip well) order a wrap with a side salad. I wrote it down and actually remember the conversation. The food comes out and she pipes up "I ordered fries with my wrap"

**Cue the eye roll that makes my eyeballs fall out.**

 I knew she didn't and I politely said "oh really? I was so sure you had a salad with it". The wrap comes with fries as a default so when someone orders it I say "would you like fries as the side?" and she flat out said no, she wanted a garden salad.

She said "why would I order salad with it when the meals came with unlimited salad"

** eye roll eye roll eye roll**

... maybe because your meal is the cheapest and doesn't include the all you can eat salad so you ate the unlimited salads from the others at your table even though that's not allowed.

She started getting worked up about it and I had other tables I needed to deal with so I decided that this was not worth pursuing.

But my god did it eat me up inside that I knew I was right and I let her get away with thinking I made the mistake. I brought out the side of fries and apologized. 

She tipped 8%.

xoxo

- A

Prankster Prince

My last post was pretty glum but I actually have a funny story about the restaurant today.

So everyone was shocked when we saw a paper posted on the staff bulletin board about a new promo going on that was promoting baked potatoes. This is confusing because we don't even have potatoes in the kitchen. Everyone was confused and annoyed that they would be doing this type of promo. My friend (who is also one of the managers) and I had gotten the message sent to us at the same time of a picture of that post and we thought it was super weird because we don't even have potatoes in stock.

Word got out that this was all a big prank created by one of the managers yesterday. Some were in on it and some still don't know it's fake. It's created a bit of fun in the atmosphere.

My friend had called me and told me that she overheard staff laughing about it and discovered it was fake and I was shocked that the manager would do this. Little did she know that my friends and family know me as the Prankster Prince (shout out if you ever watched the childhood cartoon Recess). I prank everyone. Never would I do something that I wouldn't want done to me but I thought she deserved to have a little taste of her own medicine.

I worked the lunch shift today and it was very quiet so I thought it was a good time to do it. I made sure she could see that I was about to take a table's order and when I finished, I went to her and said

"Hey I up-sold three baked potatoes and I can't find the button on the computer to ring it in"

And she burst out laughing. The bartender didn't know I was lying and they were in stitches thinking that I actually fell for it. She told me to go tell them it wasn't real and they chuckled the whole time I walked away.

I hid for a couple minutes and went back to the manager with watery eyes and started crying saying

"I told them and they got so mad and started freaking out. They asked what kind of management tells their staff about false promotions and they are making a huge scene" - I was full on crying at this point.

She jumped up and said she is going to go talk to them and I could tell she felt SO BAD. Halfway to their table I had to grab her and tell her it was all a huge prank. The whole staff watched the entire thing play out and they were talking about it all day.

Everyone was shocked that I could cry on cue and while I played it cool, I was shocked too.

Hope this made you laugh as much as it made me!

xoxo

- A

Just not cut out for it

So I've been back at my summer place for a week now and I must say, I'm not getting back into the swing of things.

I've been getting extremely overwhelmed and stressed out and tonight I actually had a breakdown in the middle of the rush and started crying in the middle of the kitchen/main side stand in front of all of the staff.

I'm just so frustrated. I have been serving since first year.. which means I've been serving for 4 years now. Mind you, I've served on and off and at a bunch of different places because I move away for school and home for the summers. But I'm still a weak server. At this point I think I've come to terms with the idea that I just suck at serving. Some people can do it and others can't. I'm one that can't. My friend has been serving for maybe two years now and she handles so many tables and gives good service and keeps a cool head. I get 4 tables and I start panicking.

While I know that I don't plan on turning serving into a career, I don't know if I should just walk away from it all-together. Serving is a career for many people and they can make more money than people sitting behind a desk. I'm not blind to the stigma around serving as a career. I commend you if you do this for a living. It takes a strong, smart, collected and quick-thinking person to be able to handle this profession.

I need the money desperately for school but if I'm a weak server, I know I'm a burden for the rest of the staff and that makes me feel shitty. I know how annoying it is to have a weak link and in this case, I'm the weak link.

I hope I figure it out I guess. Thanks for the read. I needed to flush it out because I've been tossing and turning for the last hour going over the stress of tonight's shift.

Hopefully now I can get some sleep and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

xoxo

- A

Can I get you another refill?

Well I am officially a University graduate!

Wait, when did that happen?

One minute I'm bitching about all of the assignments and exams I have and the next I am writing my last exam ever. Time flies when you're a starving student.

In September I will be starting a College program that's 2 years long so I'm not exactly done being a student. I will be moving to another city (about 2 hours from my hometown) which means a lot of $$$ on rent and tuition.

Which brings me to the main reason why I've written this blog. I am going back to the place that made me start writing a blog in the first place.

As much as I hated the job because of the high level of anxiety, I am really grateful that they took me back with no issues.

Here's to finishing my undergrad and starting a new chapter!

xoxo

- A

New Year Same Debt

Hey readers,

It's been a while since I've blogged but...

nothing has really been going on
things have been going well

Those are lies. I enjoyed my break off but came back in the new semester to be completely bombarded with work and readings. It's week two and I am already overwhelmed.

Yesterday was my first shift back at the diner so I've been off for about a month and was so nervous to start back up after being off so long. You lose the flow.

We were short a person so it was only me and another server and of course we got SLAMMED.

I was so overwhelmed and my owner kept yelling at me and I was just on the verge of tears from the start of my shift at 10:00 am till we closed at 3. For my whole shift, the restaurant stayed full and I had to end up telling people to leave after we closed. I ended up making $120 which is like insane for that job but it was just so not worth the stress. I went home and napped for a couple hours because of how mentally drained I was.

I need the money though, I literally don't know how I am going to pay for second semester because my student loan gave me hardly anything this year so I don't really know what I am going to do about it.

I plan on talking to the financial aid office at the university (who deals with the government student loans) and maybe there was an error in my funding or we can come up with a solution.

Overall, I feel a little over worked but life ain't easy.

Forget it Jake, it's China Town

xoxo

- A

Sick sick sick

I had to call in sick today at the diner because I am another victim claimed by the December flu bug going around :(

Of course it is cold and flu season and being stressed with finals, papers and applying to grad schools probably made my immune system non-existent. All you can do is rest, bundle up and drink a lot of fluids.

Next weekend I work Saturday and Sunday so at least I will still be making some money! The diner hasn't been as busy and we have had an extra server on. That's the only reason why I was able to call in sick today. The owner knew we wouldn't be as busy and could spare a server so that's good.

I am continuing to plow through school since I have a cruise to look forward to. I finished my 30 page paper last night that's due on Tuesday. I don't think I have ever handed in an assignment early but man does it feel good!

So I guess other than this nasty cold, I'm doing alright.

Happy holidays, friends. I HOPE the holiday tipper comes your way just in time for Christmas.


xoxo

- A

I've got a guardian angel

Hi friends!


SO a couple of things. I will talk about my shift on Sunday first which was nuts.

So I started an hour earlier and we had an extra person on because my owner knew it would be chaotic due to an event going on at the high school near by. We got slammed but it went smoothly. UNTIL all of the other servers were cut and it was just me.

The way it works at the diner is once it gets quieter, the owner transfers the (cut) servers tables over to the next person and so on. My owner just cut everyone though even though 75% of the tables were other servers and I kept getting new tables. So I had to keep track of whose tables were whose because they still get their tips. I was so weeded. One server didn't even put a tables order in and left and I was so busy I couldn't get to them and find out that they were waiting over an hour for breakfast. My owner ended up finding out. She didn't blame me for anything though, she knew I was left with a huge mess.

I really don't know why we can't finish our tables when we are cut because this system is whack. I'm sure it helps to keep labour costs down and that's important in a small place like this but I think that there needs to be changes in regards to that.

In other news though, I was griping at how poor I am just in time for the holidays and my owner asked me if I could work both days of the weekend (which means she thinks I'm good). So I will be making double the money just in time for the holidays.


My parents told me yesterday that they want to take me on a cruise over my Christmas break so things are looking up for this poor little burnt out student.


Happy (early) holidays my friends,

xoxo

- A

Help me, I'm poor

So as November comes to a close, so does my bank account.


I'm so poor! School has drained me of all of my money

well that and pizza.



I feel that I work the same amount of time that I worked at my old place last year but I just can't make any money! I love the diner but I just don't make enough money!

They asked me to come in an hour early for all of my shifts because they're getting busier so that's good at least!

and with the Christmas season coming up, the owner might need people to work during the week (she usually works alone during the week and only has people during the weekend) so I put my name in so maybe she can give me some more shifts just for the Christmas season.


Is anyone else starting to feel the stress of Christmas?

xoxo

- A

A day late and a dollar short

So if you are familiar with post-secondary education, you must understand that the month of November is when all of the school fun stops because you are just being completely bombarded with assignments and midterms.

This semester is not holding back. Every time I feel like I got a bit ahead, I realize that there is no such thing as being ahead, but just 2 steps away from the monster that is chasing you and hot on your trail.

Work is good. I wish I was working more than one three hour shift a week. I did that at my old place and usually took home around 80 dollars a shift. I seem to average 50 at the diner which just isn't cutting it.

I have a bit of a funny story for you that I've been trying to find time to write about. A couple weeks ago I was changing and refilling the little bottles of hot sauce that we keep on the tables at the diner. One had been clogged so I aimed it at the sink and squeezed it as hard as I could. Like a complete idiot.

Of course it came out and I was squeezing the bottle so much that it splattered all over the place and hit me in the face, eyes, pretty much my entire upper body. I literally finished my shift splattered in hot sauce. My skin was burning (I took the time to wash it out of my eyes at least) and a customer had the nerve to laugh and call me a chicken wing.

Let's just say when I came home, my roommates became hysterical over my bad luck and poor decisions.

Anyways,

These last couple of weeks have just felt like two steps forward one step back. At least we are slowly getting closer to Christmas break. I finish exams really early this semester so I will get to enjoy the Christmas season without being covered in hives resulting from school stress (true story).

If you are in school, it sucks but just keep going! We are in the darkest part of the tunnel but when the light begins to show, you'll forget how far down you were.

and if you're a server. I hope you at least have a funny experience because even serving can suck your soul dry sometimes.


xoxo

- A

I'm not sorry for being new

Hey readers,

I hardly enjoyed the week off. I spent it procrastinating and stressing about the assignments I have due this week and am now left with that mess to clean up. But that's not what this blog is about. I worked another shift at the diner today, which may be my 4th shift there (I could be wrong). I am still a baby at this place and the menu is huge.

I had a table of 6 come in that looked my age. I was on top of serving them, but when it came to taking their orders, I had to ask other workers the questions that my customers had. I told them that I am still very new (and when I do that, customers are usually super kind and patient) but these people were rude and actually made me feel a bit stupid.

One of the girls who paid for 2 bills didn't even tip me and when it happened, I felt pretty shitty about myself. Obviously they didn't like their service.


And then it hit me.

F*ck you.

Seriously. I'm just a student whose busting her ass in school full time, working and volunteering. I put my all into my job but I am also very new and I know I do my best. So f*ck you if you don't see that while I might not have been the best, I was truly trying my best.

You can keep your 10% tip.


I just don't give myself enough credit sometimes.

xoxo

- A

No, the customer isn't always right

So I worked my first real shift on my own at the diner yesterday and I was sordove surprised to see how things ran.

I have only worked for chains and in the chains, anything the customer wants goes. They can pretty much create their own dishes. Companies just want their customers to be satisfied no matter the strain it puts on employees.

Here, the same rules do not exist. I had a woman ask for one poached egg and an english muffin. I asked the owner how to ring it in and she said she doesn't do that. She said, "the customers can't create their own meals, that's why we make the menu. If she wants that, we have to charge her for two eggs (because it's a menu item) and explain it to her". I was a little surprised that they wouldn't accommodate for her. I just thought when you are a small business, you want to do what the customer wants to make sure you keep getting business.

She didn't end up ordering anything so we essentially lost money from that. At the end of the day, I don't find this to be a big deal. In fact, it makes my life easier because what you see is what you get. I was just surprised to see how it runs that way.

I won't be working for the next two weeks as I am about to get my first break of school and go home for the week so that'll be a nice break!

School is really kicking my butt. I just had a midterm today and have another on Thursday plus a paper due tomorrow!

Hang in there fellow students,

xoxo

- A

My Toenail is Black o.0

So I have only worked one shift at the diner so far because I went home for the last weekend and have been waiting for my next shift next weekend. I've been super excited until I dropped my laptop the other day and it hit the base of the nail of my big toe and it instantly turned the nail black and it was all bloody...

I can hardly walk on it and all I am worried about is how I am going to work this weekend! I have been looking forward to it this whole time and I can't even wear close-toed shoes right now. Here's hoping that I can by Saturday!

Other than that, nothing new has happened. School has been consistent and boring so no new funny stories. I just wanted to leave a little update for my loyal readers.


xoxo


- A

They had an electric orange juicer!

So I got the job!

Apparently she loved me right away and knew she wanted to hire me. The menu test was only a way of getting me to seriously study the menu so I could be more prepared. I worked my first shift yesterday morning. They didn't have me serving really. I just sat tables, bussed a lot, ran some food and helped the other servers with their stuff. It was a good way to just get a feel for the place.

So I'm happy. I really like the staff, they are all so nice and friendly. It was just a good experience.

And it was A LOT busier than I would have expected. It was pretty busy for like a solid 2 hours of my shift (I worked 3). So I could make decent tips, especially since turnover is probably pretty quick because it's breakfast.

So here is to a new chapter and a lot of new stories!


xoxo

- A

Nothing

Well the restaurant didn't even email me back. Isn't that always lovely.

I just wish they didn't avoid it so much and just address it. It seems a bit unprofessional to me, but who am I to complain?

I actually got an interview on the spot today at a mom and pop place down the street from me and she seemed to really love me. She gave me a piece of the menu (an all day breakfast menu) to have memorized for Saturday. It sounded like if I did a good job with it, she would take me on. Little does she know she was talking to a person who memorizes 15 pages of brain function review notes three days before an exam. It's in the bag. I've already memorized about 75% of it in the few hours of having it. I am just nervous about not making enough money in a little diner like that. I don't know how busy it gets but when I was there at noon, there were 2 tables. It's better than nothing and I truly loved it there. I always had a dream of serving at a little diner like that (don't ask why, I have no idea) so it might give me different things that the chain restaurants didn't.

I'm cautiously optimistic.

The Blonde (whose blog I absolutely adore, by the way) asked me to expand on me having my mother quit for me at my old job, and I thought it'd be a good story so here goes!


I had only been getting one shift a week at the restaurant and I experienced anxiety when working because I just couldn't get better. I kept getting weeded every shift and I knew that the staff saw me as a weak link. Well, I had been secretly evaluated one night and my manager very nicely told me that if  I don't get my act together in two weeks, i'd get canned. I spent the next week until my next shift driving myself ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. My anxiety about going back after they affirmed my thoughts about them thinking I sucked became too overwhelming, I missed classes and just kept inside my room.

Finally, the night before my shift, I called my mom at like 2 in the morning having a huge breakdown. The only thing that soothed me was her telling me to just quit. I didn't need the stress and my parents would help me financially. So the next day, I begged her to call them and quit for me. She had picked me up that morning and brought me back to my parents home (so my real home) so I was there when she did it. She got the asshole manager that was so rude to her and she lost her mind on him. She asked for the owners number and got into contact with her. She pretty much just said that I felt cornered and wasn't really given support even though I have diagnosed anxiety. The owner talked it out with my mom and my mom got me my job back (even though I didn't want it at the time though I would appreciate it later). It's not like my mom begged her, the owner told her that she totally understands and wanted me to come back if I wanted to.

Long story short, while that ended well, I think it ruined my chances of coming back.

Pray to the server gods that I get this job readers!

xoxo

- A

Who needs self-respect anyways?!

Ugh I've reached an all new low today, my friends.



So I spent the afternoon handing out resumes (I moved back out for school on Saturday) and it was so depressingly unsuccessful I did something stupid. It's like when you get super drunk and call your ex and beg them to get back together with you even though they broke up with you. It's just sad. Well I emailed the restaurant I worked at last school year and pretty much did the same.

When I had reached out to them at the beginning of August, they hadn't responded to my email, which I knew was a bad sign. I still called them a week later and pretty much told them I was interested in coming back blah blah. He had told me that they did more summer hiring than they anticipated so they might not be taking people back. He then said he'd let me know by the end of the week.

I sordove knew that was bullshit. I won't lie. I was a pretty shitty server when I was there. In my defence, I had little experience before that job and I only got one 3 hour shift a week. I had a really hard time developing any skills because I just wasn't doing it frequently enough. I even had a huge mental breakdown and had my mother quit for me on the spot. Which she did. And then the owner called and talked it out with my mother and they said that if I still wanted my job that I could take it. So I did and I finished up until summer.

So I totally understand why they wouldn't want me back. I'm not stupid. What I have described for you demonstrates how terrible I was there. BUT I HAVE CHANGED!

Working at my summer job made me a boss server!

So anyways, the end of the week came and I didn't hear from him. At this point I was a little irritated that he wasn't just being honest so I emailed him and just told him to let me know his decision and within the hour he emailed me back and rejected me.


I emailed him again today like a pathetic loser when I was feeling hopeless about finding another job. I acknowledged that my attempt seemed desperate but really told him how much I appreciated the job and that if he gave me a chance (if there was a position available), that I would work so hard to show him my improvement.


I feel like such a pathetic, clingy loser and I just needed to let it out. So thank you for reading, and feel free to judge me hahaha.

I'll let you know how it goes,


xoxo

- A

Hakuna Matata

Hello readers (does anyone still read my blogs anymore?),

These last couple of weeks have been pretty uneventful but that was exactly what I've needed. I have been resting, relaxing, seeing friends and family, cleaning up my room and getting ready to move out for school and catching up on Pokemon Go (don't knock it till you try it).

I feel ready to start school. I feel refreshed and eager to get back into a learning environment. I finished summer school with great marks so I feel pretty good about myself.

I got an email today from my University and found out that I made the Deans' List for this last year. I have always been a pretty average student so this was really exciting. My parents and siblings were super happy for me :).

So far we still do not have a roommate for the vacant room BUT I know someone looked at the house today and liked it so we might not get what we want and have the room stay vacant. I mean, at this point, I just have to stay positive and go with the flow. I am naturally very pessimistic so I have been trying to work on it. From what I hear, this person seems normal and respectable so that's good at least.

In terms of employment - I am still a bum! As soon as I move out on Saturday, I am hitting up all of the restaurants in my area. I know it's super late to be applying but hey, I got a job last year and I had applied at the beginning of October so hopefully the serving gods will be looking down on me again.

I hope everyone has been enjoying the last couple weeks of summer and are mentally preparing for the very busy labour day weekend!

xoxo

- A

Officially Un-Employed

Well I have been finished work for about a week now and while I couldn't wait to get out of that place, I have become incredibly bored!

School is all finished as well and I have two more weeks until I move back out for school. I spent the weekend at a friend's cottage and that was really nice and relaxing. I had been looking forward to that for like a month so I'm sad that it's already over.

In other news, I was not offered a position at my old restaurant when I go back to school so I was super disappointed about that. It is so impossible to find a serving job for the school year because no one wants to hire someone that'll leave after the school year.

Well I will just need to stay positive and try to find a job as soon as I get out there.

Send me luck readers,

xoxo

- A