Who needs self-respect anyways?!

Ugh I've reached an all new low today, my friends.



So I spent the afternoon handing out resumes (I moved back out for school on Saturday) and it was so depressingly unsuccessful I did something stupid. It's like when you get super drunk and call your ex and beg them to get back together with you even though they broke up with you. It's just sad. Well I emailed the restaurant I worked at last school year and pretty much did the same.

When I had reached out to them at the beginning of August, they hadn't responded to my email, which I knew was a bad sign. I still called them a week later and pretty much told them I was interested in coming back blah blah. He had told me that they did more summer hiring than they anticipated so they might not be taking people back. He then said he'd let me know by the end of the week.

I sordove knew that was bullshit. I won't lie. I was a pretty shitty server when I was there. In my defence, I had little experience before that job and I only got one 3 hour shift a week. I had a really hard time developing any skills because I just wasn't doing it frequently enough. I even had a huge mental breakdown and had my mother quit for me on the spot. Which she did. And then the owner called and talked it out with my mother and they said that if I still wanted my job that I could take it. So I did and I finished up until summer.

So I totally understand why they wouldn't want me back. I'm not stupid. What I have described for you demonstrates how terrible I was there. BUT I HAVE CHANGED!

Working at my summer job made me a boss server!

So anyways, the end of the week came and I didn't hear from him. At this point I was a little irritated that he wasn't just being honest so I emailed him and just told him to let me know his decision and within the hour he emailed me back and rejected me.


I emailed him again today like a pathetic loser when I was feeling hopeless about finding another job. I acknowledged that my attempt seemed desperate but really told him how much I appreciated the job and that if he gave me a chance (if there was a position available), that I would work so hard to show him my improvement.


I feel like such a pathetic, clingy loser and I just needed to let it out. So thank you for reading, and feel free to judge me hahaha.

I'll let you know how it goes,


xoxo

- A