Just not cut out for it

So I've been back at my summer place for a week now and I must say, I'm not getting back into the swing of things.

I've been getting extremely overwhelmed and stressed out and tonight I actually had a breakdown in the middle of the rush and started crying in the middle of the kitchen/main side stand in front of all of the staff.

I'm just so frustrated. I have been serving since first year.. which means I've been serving for 4 years now. Mind you, I've served on and off and at a bunch of different places because I move away for school and home for the summers. But I'm still a weak server. At this point I think I've come to terms with the idea that I just suck at serving. Some people can do it and others can't. I'm one that can't. My friend has been serving for maybe two years now and she handles so many tables and gives good service and keeps a cool head. I get 4 tables and I start panicking.

While I know that I don't plan on turning serving into a career, I don't know if I should just walk away from it all-together. Serving is a career for many people and they can make more money than people sitting behind a desk. I'm not blind to the stigma around serving as a career. I commend you if you do this for a living. It takes a strong, smart, collected and quick-thinking person to be able to handle this profession.

I need the money desperately for school but if I'm a weak server, I know I'm a burden for the rest of the staff and that makes me feel shitty. I know how annoying it is to have a weak link and in this case, I'm the weak link.

I hope I figure it out I guess. Thanks for the read. I needed to flush it out because I've been tossing and turning for the last hour going over the stress of tonight's shift.

Hopefully now I can get some sleep and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.

xoxo

- A

The Holiday Tipper Strikes Again!

Tonight was mayhem as we were disgustingly short-staffed but that didn't stop me from getting the holiday tip once again!

Three women were sat in my section during the crazy dinner rush. They didn't strike me as anything as they seemed somewhat unkept. I honestly did not expect much from them. They were't waiting long but my manager greeted them anyways. I could tell he knew them (so they were regulars). I had taken their drink orders and before I had brought them back he had gotten their all you can eat salads. I knew he wasn't doing this because he thought I wasn't getting there in time. He was just being friendly with them because he knew them.

After I thanked him for taking care of them while I was getting caught up on other tables trying to pay he said "make sure to take awesome care of them because they will give you a fantastic tip". So I did. They were very sweet and patient anyways so it wasn't like it was difficult.

I genuinely enjoy waiting on people who are friendly and easy going. So if you go to a restaurant and you're service is bad... maybe you're an asshole.

Or maybe you just have a bad server.

Getting off track here...

So it comes time for them to settle up and their bill was 40 dollars. When I looked at the debit receipt it read:

Tip: $60.

Almost shit my pants. But then they told me that half was for the manager because he was wonderful. But still, 30 dollars on a 40 dollar bill is an AMAZING tip. I was so grateful.

So my message is this: never judge a book by its cover. Seriously. The nicest people come in all forms. And nasty people do too. Remember that.

Tomorrow is my last day at the restaurant and I must say that I am a little sad to be saying good bye to the staff. I have really grown to love a few of them.

xoxo

- A