So I've been back at my summer place for a week now and I must say, I'm not getting back into the swing of things.
I've been getting extremely overwhelmed and stressed out and tonight I actually had a breakdown in the middle of the rush and started crying in the middle of the kitchen/main side stand in front of all of the staff.
I'm just so frustrated. I have been serving since first year.. which means I've been serving for 4 years now. Mind you, I've served on and off and at a bunch of different places because I move away for school and home for the summers. But I'm still a weak server. At this point I think I've come to terms with the idea that I just suck at serving. Some people can do it and others can't. I'm one that can't. My friend has been serving for maybe two years now and she handles so many tables and gives good service and keeps a cool head. I get 4 tables and I start panicking.
While I know that I don't plan on turning serving into a career, I don't know if I should just walk away from it all-together. Serving is a career for many people and they can make more money than people sitting behind a desk. I'm not blind to the stigma around serving as a career. I commend you if you do this for a living. It takes a strong, smart, collected and quick-thinking person to be able to handle this profession.
I need the money desperately for school but if I'm a weak server, I know I'm a burden for the rest of the staff and that makes me feel shitty. I know how annoying it is to have a weak link and in this case, I'm the weak link.
I hope I figure it out I guess. Thanks for the read. I needed to flush it out because I've been tossing and turning for the last hour going over the stress of tonight's shift.
Hopefully now I can get some sleep and prepare to do it all again tomorrow.
xoxo
- A
While there are definitely people not cut out for it - I don't know that it's the first conclusion.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has different strengths and weaknesses, and that transfers to serving, especially in different environments. When I was working at the diner, I could handle ten tables at once, including seating, taking cash, and running my own food. I don't know how I did it. At my restaurant now, four-five is my maximum before I start feeling flustered and overwhelmed - while I'm watching others sip their coffee and breeze about their nine tables. I don't know how it happens.
Maybe this restaurant isn't for you. Not that you or they are doing anything wrong, necessarily, but for some reason it's not a click. You seem willing to work hard and try to improve yourself. Something to consider, but if you are losing sleep and coming down on yourself that hard, please think of your mental health before you dig yourself into a hole. Good luck, keep us posted!
Thanks theblonde! Being a student is hard because I'm jumping between my home city and where I go to school which makes finding a serving job for the summer or school year tough. A friend got me into this place and they took me back for the summer and being a poor student, it's hard to feel like there are other options! only 4 months to go!
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