Life on the other side

It's been a hot minute. A lot has happened in that hot minute let me tell you.

I know I hardly had readers when I was trying to blog actively so maybe this random blog won't get a view. If that's the case, I'm writing this blog more for me than for you.

I've hung up my pen and notepad for good and let me tell you how much my mental health has been soaring because of it.

Serving is a GREAT way to make money. Truly, that's why it took me so long to walk away from it. You work a couple shifts a week during school, make a bunch of cash and go on with your studies. For me, serving gave me the most anxiety I have ever felt and at points, I wished that my car would go (gently) into a ditch on the way in and I would miss my shift. Damn my good snow tires for never making that a reality (haha).

This summer, I took on a job that was in the field I am going to school for and it just felt so much better for me. There are some people who make a wonderful career out of serving. They like it, they're good at it and it pays their bills. I hated it and I sucked at it. I was constantly feeling inadequate because I couldn't do it and other staff members were constantly annoyed with my smaller sections and I was just so anxious all the time.

I just stopped one day and said 'I need to walk away'. And I did just that. I am finishing up my second chunk of education and I am about to transition into the working world. More importantly, into the field I want to be in.

I am happy to say that I woke up one day and made the decision that the tips weren't worth it for me anymore.

Thanks for the read. I hope you are all doing well and if you're a server, I hope that holiday tipper gets seated in your section soon.

xoxo

- A

PS. It's been over a year since I served a table and I STILL get server nightmares from time to time!

Where did that come from?

So I am getting ready for my big move. 10 days to go! I've been busy too with social events like a bachelorette party/getaway last weekend and tomorrow I am going to a friends cottage for the weekend. This doesn't sound like a lot of things but I am such an introvert and all of the socializing can really tire me out.

Nonetheless, I've packed my camping gym bag for another weekend of tanning and saying goodbye to our old friends as we are all going in different directions for school this fall.

While these are all celebrations and things to look forward to, I've been having pop-up panic attacks throughout the week. I've come to understand my anxiety and I used to suffer a lot from panic attacks growing up but they sordove dwindled after grade 12. Here and there I will have a flare up but this last week has been very difficult.

Usually, something triggers my panic attacks and I can see them coming and sometimes talk myself through them pretty efficiently but these ones come out of nowhere and it takes a good 20 minutes for me to catch my breath (compared to the usual 3-5 minutes).


I hope I can get them under control and I hope it doesn't interfere with my new school and apartment.

Thanks for the read and I hope you're enjoying the heat (if there's heat where you are! :) )

xoxo

- A

New Year Same Debt

Hey readers,

It's been a while since I've blogged but...

nothing has really been going on
things have been going well

Those are lies. I enjoyed my break off but came back in the new semester to be completely bombarded with work and readings. It's week two and I am already overwhelmed.

Yesterday was my first shift back at the diner so I've been off for about a month and was so nervous to start back up after being off so long. You lose the flow.

We were short a person so it was only me and another server and of course we got SLAMMED.

I was so overwhelmed and my owner kept yelling at me and I was just on the verge of tears from the start of my shift at 10:00 am till we closed at 3. For my whole shift, the restaurant stayed full and I had to end up telling people to leave after we closed. I ended up making $120 which is like insane for that job but it was just so not worth the stress. I went home and napped for a couple hours because of how mentally drained I was.

I need the money though, I literally don't know how I am going to pay for second semester because my student loan gave me hardly anything this year so I don't really know what I am going to do about it.

I plan on talking to the financial aid office at the university (who deals with the government student loans) and maybe there was an error in my funding or we can come up with a solution.

Overall, I feel a little over worked but life ain't easy.

Forget it Jake, it's China Town

xoxo

- A

A day late and a dollar short

So if you are familiar with post-secondary education, you must understand that the month of November is when all of the school fun stops because you are just being completely bombarded with assignments and midterms.

This semester is not holding back. Every time I feel like I got a bit ahead, I realize that there is no such thing as being ahead, but just 2 steps away from the monster that is chasing you and hot on your trail.

Work is good. I wish I was working more than one three hour shift a week. I did that at my old place and usually took home around 80 dollars a shift. I seem to average 50 at the diner which just isn't cutting it.

I have a bit of a funny story for you that I've been trying to find time to write about. A couple weeks ago I was changing and refilling the little bottles of hot sauce that we keep on the tables at the diner. One had been clogged so I aimed it at the sink and squeezed it as hard as I could. Like a complete idiot.

Of course it came out and I was squeezing the bottle so much that it splattered all over the place and hit me in the face, eyes, pretty much my entire upper body. I literally finished my shift splattered in hot sauce. My skin was burning (I took the time to wash it out of my eyes at least) and a customer had the nerve to laugh and call me a chicken wing.

Let's just say when I came home, my roommates became hysterical over my bad luck and poor decisions.

Anyways,

These last couple of weeks have just felt like two steps forward one step back. At least we are slowly getting closer to Christmas break. I finish exams really early this semester so I will get to enjoy the Christmas season without being covered in hives resulting from school stress (true story).

If you are in school, it sucks but just keep going! We are in the darkest part of the tunnel but when the light begins to show, you'll forget how far down you were.

and if you're a server. I hope you at least have a funny experience because even serving can suck your soul dry sometimes.


xoxo

- A

No, the customer isn't always right

So I worked my first real shift on my own at the diner yesterday and I was sordove surprised to see how things ran.

I have only worked for chains and in the chains, anything the customer wants goes. They can pretty much create their own dishes. Companies just want their customers to be satisfied no matter the strain it puts on employees.

Here, the same rules do not exist. I had a woman ask for one poached egg and an english muffin. I asked the owner how to ring it in and she said she doesn't do that. She said, "the customers can't create their own meals, that's why we make the menu. If she wants that, we have to charge her for two eggs (because it's a menu item) and explain it to her". I was a little surprised that they wouldn't accommodate for her. I just thought when you are a small business, you want to do what the customer wants to make sure you keep getting business.

She didn't end up ordering anything so we essentially lost money from that. At the end of the day, I don't find this to be a big deal. In fact, it makes my life easier because what you see is what you get. I was just surprised to see how it runs that way.

I won't be working for the next two weeks as I am about to get my first break of school and go home for the week so that'll be a nice break!

School is really kicking my butt. I just had a midterm today and have another on Thursday plus a paper due tomorrow!

Hang in there fellow students,

xoxo

- A

You really like me?!

Hey readers!

I finally had my second shift today and I served a 2 table section. I was a little hesitant because I hardly know the menu still. I've been slacking because school has already gotten crazy. Serving tables there is so different from my summer place. It was nice and easy going. The tips weren't too bad either! I got a 15 dollar tip on a 20 dollar bill. The girl who was watching over me was like "what the hell!". I tend to make good tips, I've noticed :).

This place actually makes me feel like a valuable person. All of the other places treated me like an easily replaceable cookie cut-out but this place actually asks me questions that are to ensure that I am doing alright and enjoying my work experience. It's really a nice change. The owners are so nice.

Overall, I'm excited to go back next weekend. The owner said she wasn't expecting me to be that good and now is going to give me a regular section. She said she could tell that I was nervous but I could still do it. She really understands me haha.

I hope you're all doing well!

xoxo

- A

My Toenail is Black o.0

So I have only worked one shift at the diner so far because I went home for the last weekend and have been waiting for my next shift next weekend. I've been super excited until I dropped my laptop the other day and it hit the base of the nail of my big toe and it instantly turned the nail black and it was all bloody...

I can hardly walk on it and all I am worried about is how I am going to work this weekend! I have been looking forward to it this whole time and I can't even wear close-toed shoes right now. Here's hoping that I can by Saturday!

Other than that, nothing new has happened. School has been consistent and boring so no new funny stories. I just wanted to leave a little update for my loyal readers.


xoxo


- A

Officially Un-Employed

Well I have been finished work for about a week now and while I couldn't wait to get out of that place, I have become incredibly bored!

School is all finished as well and I have two more weeks until I move back out for school. I spent the weekend at a friend's cottage and that was really nice and relaxing. I had been looking forward to that for like a month so I'm sad that it's already over.

In other news, I was not offered a position at my old restaurant when I go back to school so I was super disappointed about that. It is so impossible to find a serving job for the school year because no one wants to hire someone that'll leave after the school year.

Well I will just need to stay positive and try to find a job as soon as I get out there.

Send me luck readers,

xoxo

- A

6 Day Stretch

Hey guys,

I'm in the middle of a 6 day work streak and can't help but start feeling cranky. Tonight is an easier shift. Im not a split or a pre or pre close but tomorrow I open the restaurant and work all the way through the dinner rush. I hate that shift so much and I have to do another one on Monday so I just don't feel too hopeful.

Luckily I will be quitting for August 18th so its coming up. I just need to hang in there and get through these next couple of weeks. I think I might continue blogging throughout the school year. I plan on working at the restaurant I worked at during the last school year so I'm thinking about it.

I'm going to a friends cottage on the 19th for the whole weekend with my boyfriend and a bunch of our friends so I am literally counting down the days since I feel like I haven't gotten a break all summer.

Thanks for the read,

xox

- A

I Gave Table 11 a Shower

Well it finally happened.

I was dropping four waters off at my table and didn't think about how I was taking them off of my tray (rookie mistake) and my tray flipped and the water dumped all over me, my table and my customers.

This was the first time I have ever done that and I was already close to being in the weeds and I just wanted to melt into a puddle. They were super nice about it. They were foreign and spoke so softly and proper with their accents even after the spill. Of course they still had their menus so everything was soaked.

The father was really nice about it, but the mother looked at me like I was a cockroach and it made me feel almost ashamed. I know it isn't good but I pretty much avoided them as much as I could for the rest of the time I have been there.

I have been so stressed with school this week that I go into work extra-stressed and I feel like bad things just keep happening to me, like I can't catch a break.

The other night, my one table had a huge chunk of spaghetti stuck together and it took forever for the kitchen to fix it, then someone stole one of my dishes for another table so it took double the time to make the thing that someone else took. I was so angry I took the time to hunt them down and give them shit for not reading the ticket. I had four seniors with a grandchild and they were trying to nickel and dime everything and had a bunch of MOD's on their senior meals.

I just need a break. I am officially halfway through my summer break which means I am halfway through working there.

My your trays be balanced and your modified dishes be made right the first time,

- A

I Will Survive!

I survived my shift tonight!

I have been off for 5 days and it is always hard coming back after a break. I went to work feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest but guess what? It wasn't that bad! I had a party of 9 and 3 other tables at the same time (which a lot my laugh at) but that is a big deal for me. I stayed calm, cool and collected.

I get scared when I find out I have a party of more than 7 people.

When I had first started serving when I was 19, I was thrown into doing a party of 15. They were middle-aged women, were constantly changing seats and had like 6 different bills and I just got in the weeds and they called me names that I won't repeat here but let's just say that it's been three years since that and I still get nervous for parties.

Tonight was good though. The party flagged down my GM and told her how fantastic I was. My other manager even pulled me aside today and told me he has noticed my improvement. It's funny how someone taking a minute out of their day to tell you something like that can make you feel wonderful!

Give it a try. Tell a co-worker that they kick ass! You never know, they could be having a bad day and that may impact them more than you realize.

Pay it forward!

Good luck to everyone starting the work week (AKA Friday-Sunday in the restaurant world),

- A

Can You Work Tomorrow?

So I have been surviving the dreaded graduation season.

This week has been crazy. I work 5 shifts this week (2 which are doubles) and have 3 papers due at the end of the week. I am just about to start the first paper that is due tomorrow night. Upon sitting down to start working, my manager texted me and asked me if I could work at noon tomorrow (on top of my dinner shift). I find it hard to pick up shifts because I am also trying to balance school but they are constantly asking me to pick up shifts and I feel like every time I say no, they get a little angry.

So here I am, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Pick up a shift and give up time to do my papers or piss off my employers and get my homework done?

I just wish things could run smoothly but that never seems to be the case.

I hope your enjoying your week, friends!

- A